On the Map!

After a few months in the making I finally hung some of my paintings at my hair salon for display and eventually, sale (I'm not quite set up for the sale part yet, but I'll be working on it during the next few days).

Warning: The quality of the photos sucks, but they'll give you an idea of the setup and how the paintings look on the walls.

bobby pin hair studio

What She Seeks (left) and Dark Side of the Moon (right)

Giselle

(my first face from scratch - this photo will definitely NOT be for sale :)

Be Free and Soar

Mika (top) and Embracing the Light (bottom)

Breathe

(thanks for letting me borrow this one back for display Sis!)

Deciphering

I had a lot of fun putting them up and it's pretty neat to see them hanging in a public place. Her hair studio also happens to be on the Hintonburg Arts Map (lucky #13!). It feels good.

ps - A big thank you to Sis for bringing up the idea of hanging my paintings with our hairdresser; I'm bumping her photos off the walls to make room for my stuff!

Introducing: Parts of Me

In the spirit of yesterday's post about authenticity and sharing all parts of me on my blog, I thought I'd leave with you a list of things about me that you may or may not know. I had fun putting it together:

~ I am an artist and a Squammette. I like pigtails, fingerless gloves and funky necklaces.

~ I am a student of small business and entrepreneurship. I plan to be my own boss, create income sources to support the life I want and take what comes with it - the good and the bad.

~ I am also a student of Voluntary Simplicity and seek financial independence. I strive to simplify finances, possessions, relationships, time commitments and figure out how much is enough for me

~ I am a procrastinator. It's 11pm and I'm writing my NaBloPoMo post for the day. 'Nuf said.

~ I love brainstorming and looking at the big picture. I geek out on bubble charts, lists, enterprise architecture and the Zachman Framework.

~ I am a communicator. I get lost in writing and thrive on the challenge of communicating something as clearly and simply as possible whether in writing or with a picture. In contrast, I allow myself to write freely in my Morning Pages and sometimes let authentic, natural expression trump the rules.

~ I love nature and hiking. I think my dusty hiking boots, cargo pants and favourite ball cap are really cool. I enjoy the challenge of climbing scraggly trails, the smell of pine needles and the high of a breathtaking view.

~ I am a complete bird geek. When an Indigo Bunting landed at my finch feeder in May 2002 I called my mom (long distance) and told her there was an effin Indigo Bunting at my window. Yes, I used the f-bomb on the phone with my mom, because of a bird.

~ I am a homemaker and secretly revel in producing loads of clean laundry. I do NOT however, revel in housecleaning. Hearty soups are my favourite thing to cook. I want to learn how to knit, sew and spin.

~ I feel my emotions passionately (read: I can be moody). I can dive into a downward spiral and want to do nothing but eat chicken soup and sleep. On the flip side, I live my highs thoroughly and often use momentum to push forward with personal projects. It's a cycle and although I've not mastered its navigation, I try to get by as gracefully as I can. I learn with each one.

~ I am a wannabe homesteader. I gobble up books by Helen and Scott Nearing and dream of living in the country, preserving food from my organic gardens and living off the grid. I dream of building an art studio made of straw bales on my property.

~ I enjoy classic movies and recently discovered that I like silent films. The plot lines, dialogue and images draw me in. Fred and Ginger make me swoon.

~ I am an urban chick and enjoy the edge that comes with living downtown. I enjoy hanging out in coffee shops and farmers' markets, people-watching and running all of my errands without needing a car.

~ I value connection, honesty, beauty, nature, self-care and community.

~ I am a wife, a sister, a friend, a daughter and much, much more.

~ I am not perfect. I practice being the best me I can be, one day at a time.

On Blogging, Fear and Authenticity

I don't know what to write tonight, but I'm toying with the idea of participating (unofficially of course) in NaBloPoMo so I'm sitting here typing with the hopes that something semi-intelligent will make its way through the keyboard to the screen for Day 1 just in case.

Truth is, I've lost confidence in my ability to write here. It's not for a lack of ideas, I have a notebook full of scribbles and sometimes my mind is moving so fast I can hardly keep up with it.

It's about fear. Fear of what others will think of me, fear that whatever I write has already been said, fear of being boring. Fear that communities I've found or connections I've made through specific parts of my life won't like reading about what's going on in other parts and reject me.

These fears can lead to writing that is safe and stays at the surface. That's not necessarily what I want. I like to explore and be true and sometimes that means taking risks. So although they may shift, just for today - or maybe this month - I will remind myself of the goals I laid out for my Creative Living Experiment back in May:

1. to observe life in and around me,
2. to write regularly,
3. to document my experiment in creating a life I want - whatever fields of interest that may include, and
4. to expand my mind and life experience by learning more about my interests and sharing what I’ve learned with others.

I see nothing about self-imposed peer pressure, safety or perfection. What I do see is opportunity to learn, reflect, practice and share an honest, authentic version of myself that includes all parts of me.

Surely that should be enough to get me through Day 2.

I ♥ My Library

October is Canadian Library Month. Being a self-confessed library nerd I thought I'd honour the event by putting in an eleventh hour plug for this amazing FREE service.

I use the library a LOT and probably visit it once a week to pick up, browse or return items. I use it mostly for books and DVDs, but those are really just the tip of the iceberg. The Ottawa Public Library offers family passes to the National Gallery of Canada and the Canadian Museum of Contemporary Photography, the Museum of Nature, Science & Tech, Civilization... all on loan for a week during which I can use the pass every day. I can even borrow a "Kill-a-Watt" meter to measure power consumption in my home or a pedometer to count my steps to health.

The library also hosts or provides meeting space for stuff like writing groups, the local Jane Austen Society chapter, homework clubs, conversation and friendship circles. And let us not forget the wide-ranging reference and information services for which libraries are known in the first place.

A bonus tidbit for the locals: Did you know that Ottawa still has an original Carnegie Library standing? According to Wikipedia, the Rosemount Branch opened its doors in 1919 and was the last Carnegie grant given in Canada. Lucky us!

In case you haven't noticed, I ♥ my library. I really do. If you haven't visited your local library yet I encourage you to do so either in person, or if it's available, online. You might learn to ♥ it too.

On Work and Leisure

early morning frost
(Thanksgiving 2009, Lansdowne, Ontario)

"We had our work, did it and enjoyed it. We had our leisure, used it and enjoyed that. During the hours of bread labor we worked and worked hard. We have never worked harder and have never enjoyed work more, because, with rare exceptions, the work was significant, self-directed, constructive and therefore interesting."

- Helen and Scott Nearing, Living the Good Life

A (Long) Freeform Catch-up Post

I've been putting too much pressure on myself to write the perfect post so I decided to cut myself some slack and go freeform - 'cause sometimes freeform is where it's at. For your reading pleasure, here are a bunch of random and not-so-random happenings & thoughts from the past few weeks:

I'm going to be an auntie!
D.'s brother and his wife found out that the little bean they've been nurturing for the past 19 weeks is a GIRL! Congratulations to them - everyone is simply tickled pink. Seeing pictures of my little niece taken in her mother's womb is leaving me in awe and reminding me of joy and miracles. It's so good.

AAA: Acknowledgment, Acceptance, Action
A few weeks ago I finally accepted that I had delved into depression. Sleep was my comfort; I retreated from social situations - online and off and started slipping at work, noticing that I wasn't as sharp (ahem) as usual. My level of patience dipped and my level of snippiness went up considerably, all of this prompting me to scale back to basics. Funny thing is though, as soon as I acknowledged the situation, accepted it and took action - whether it meant scaling back or seeking help - it started getting better. Note to self: acknowledgment, acceptance and action rule.

A break from work
One of the results of my above AAA journey is a four-week break from work. I prayed for the time off, craved it, got it, then promptly questioned whether I even wanted it anymore: "What will people think? Am I just weak? Surely I can suck it up." Thankfully acceptance once again came into play (pretty quickly might I add) and tamed the gremlins. Having time off to rest and not have to worry about going into the office is a gift and I look forward to it. I stumbled upon this post on burnout by Danielle LaPorte at White Hot Truth this morning and fancy her outlook. With words like "I'm curling up to my tenderized being and I'm really very pleased with the state of me", how could I not?

Paintings coming soon to a hair salon near you
Although I've very few plans for my time off, it just so happens one of the first things on deck is an appointment to hang some of my paintings at my hair salon for sale and display. How cool is that? I'll make sure to post some pictures of the space once they're up.

A timely reminder that I am capable
Last weekend I cleaned a few shelves in my office and found a lot of notes from past projects: writing classes, small business seminars, my winter wreath business venture, volunteer work and brainstorming on dreams and possible income streams. I've done a LOT in the past five years. Seeing that gave me confidence and reminded me that I have a lot to offer - perseverance, knowledge and skills that can help me create and support the life I want. I was grateful for the timely boost.

Servas International
During my sabbatical in 2007 I volunteered for Servas International, an organization focused on building peace by connecting travellers throughout the world and helping them learn about each other's culture. It was one of the most fulfilling experiences of my 11 months off. During last weekend's office cleanup I found some of my Servas notes and for some reason couldn't bring myself to throw them in the recycle bin so I filed them in the back of my cabinet. This week I got an email out of nowhere from the person I worked with two years ago inviting me to a catch-up coffee outing. With that kind of serendipitous timing, I think accepting is no-brainer. :)

Et voilà! The thing about freeform catch-up posts is that they can be very long, but they work. I feel all caught up; I hope you do too. Till the next time...

Comforting Words

reflection on Bennett Lake (September 2009)

"Do not be impatient with your seemingly slow progress. Do not try to run faster than you presently can. If you are studying, reflecting and trying, you are making progress whether you are aware of it or not. A traveler walking the road in the darkness of night is still going forward. Someday, some way, everything will break open, like the natural unfolding of a rosebud." ~ Vernon Howard

Thank you to my dear friend Lala for the quote and its perfect timing.