A Work Complete

Midsummer Blooms - a work in progress

I show you many works in progress here, but I realized that I rarely show you the same piece once it's finished. That's probably because most of the time it never reaches that point.

Up until now if I didn't finish a piece in one paint session the chances of it ever being finished went from slim to none. Why? Because I was afraid of screwing up what I had.

Last week I took my unfinished Summer Solstice piece (above) to my art class and decided that with the intrinsic support of the group and my teacher I would walk out with a finished product. My frustration of having unfinished paintings sitting around the studio outgrew my fear and I decided to trust the process.

Turns out it really didn't take much tweaking for me to pronounce it complete, but the experience of pushing through and the satisfaction of getting it done were tremendous. Here's the end result:

Solstice in Bloom - a work complete
(see how I even changed the name in the process?)

How do you create? Do you usually finish a piece - whether it's a painting, a sculpture or a short story - in one session or is your work spread out across time? Do you find it difficult to pick up an unfinished piece for completion?

Feeling Alive and Grateful

cowboy boots and vintage tile
(feeling creatively inspired and alive makes me do bold things
like wear my cowboy boots to the office)

June is turning out to be a very productive, insightful and creative month with an abundance of ideas, inspiration, action, rest and play. I feel alive and grateful.

I've been...

• working diligently on my new Website, one hour at a time, hoping to launch at the end of this month or the beginning of July - stay tuned!
• incubating an idea for a Winter solstice event
• enjoying the oodles of inspiration, momentum and practical information coming from Kelly Rae Roberts' Flying Lessons, trying to digest it, formulate it into goals and slate it into future time slots
• witnessing individuals expand their comfort zones and spread their creative wings, inspiring me and no doubt others to do the same
  
• taking breaks from the computer, spending time with a good book or with my Honey to balance it all out and recoup from intense outputs of creative energy
• exploring and experimenting with various forms of structure I could practice to help bring some of my creative ideas to fruition
• savouring the first local strawberries and fresh vegetables from the farmers' market
• planning a trip home to New Brunswick with a side trip to new hiking destinations
• thinking up new experiments and blog posts, jotting down ideas
• catching glimpses of something in the making, another significant milestone in my creative journey that I can't yet pinpoint or explain
• taking in the goodness of summer-like days, ready to welcome the season officially with open arms

Despite the fullness of the past few weeks and what could be perceived at busy-ness I feel content and at peace. Life is good.

How 'bout you? What leaves you feeling alive and grateful these days?

A Sudden Influx of Creative Possibility

It seems that flying lessons has spurred me into an expanded creative orbit of possibility with so many ideas and actions I want to take that it's exhilarating and overwhelming all at the same time.

a braindump of creative goals

The past few weeks have been a flurry of creative ideas, opportunities, to-dos and micro-actions, followed by a few micro-crashes. I'm not sure how to deal with it all, but until I figure out a system (or accept that I won't) I've been working through it as follows:

• I write everything down: ideas, to-dos, what-ifs, questions, references, blog addresses, book titles, etc. Better have it clutter my desk than having it clutter my mind.
• I write micro-actions on my whiteboard and erase them when they're done. Satisfaction ensues. (I seem to enjoy the soothing white space left on the board when I erase them vs. the increased clutter of lines when I cross them off.)
  
• I set loose weekly and monthly goals. They may not always be realistic, in fact, they may be overly optimistic, but they give me a sense of focus and help me practice discernment and patience. Not all things need to be done immediately, some things can indeed wait.
• I run with momentum when it's there. If I'm on a roll and the energy's high I go with it knowing that it most likely won't last. I accept the flow.
• But I try to get to bed at a decent hour and allow myself time to unwind with a novel or some deep breathing to stop the creative monkey mind from taking over. I get excited about my creative projects and when the adrenalin's pumping could easily work on them late into the night - and sometimes I do - but it will catch up with me. I need to be aware of that.
• I listen to my body and mind. If I'm feeling tired or struggling to focus or concentrate I stop and rest, knowing that the energy will come back. I remember my Basics and recharge. I accept the ebb.

This has been working for me for the past few weeks, but I'm not sure how effective it will be without injecting a bit of structure, whatever form that may take. Being a self-confessed productivity geek, I'm thoroughly enjoying the prospect of experimenting and figuring out what works to get things done.

How do you deal with an influx of creative ideas, possibility and to-dos?

Adventures in Abstract Painting

I'm taking an abstract painting class and it's pushing me out of my comfort zone both in my painting and in my ability to call myself an artist.

The good news is I'm slowly feeling that comfort zone grow with each class and each new painting as I learn different techniques and glean knowledge from my more experienced classmates. It's been good.

I'm still discovering my style and preferences. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to settle on just one and I think that's ok. Or maybe a preference will eventually show itself as I continue to play.

I thought I'd show you what I've been learning...

bloom blue
(8"x8")

flight
(14"x10")

this is a work-in-progress replica of a piece in
Rolina van Vilet's book The Art of Abstract Painting
(16"x16")

unnamed, a work in progress from my last class
where we practiced image transfers
(10"x10")

On Fortuitous Doubts and Insecurities...

something about Mary

I signed up for Kelly Rae Roberts' e-course, Flying Lessons: Tips & Tricks To Help Your Creative Business Soar, and resisting it greatly.

I love it. I know I want it. I believe it's the next step in the path I want to forge in both my artistic and work lives. But I've been blindsided by fear almost to the point of tears and all I can say is WTF?

This is not about the course. The course so far is amazing.

I suspect it's more about resident doubts and insecurities at even thinking that I could be a successful artist or a businesswoman. I knew they were there, I guess I just never gave them such a perfect opportunity to all show up at once. I guess it's time to deal.

Wish me luck?

Photography Month @ CLE Comes to a Close

Would someone please tell me where the month of May went? Seriously?

My Photography Month experiment is now at an end. Although I missed out on some of the things I wanted to do, I still consider it a success. Why?

Because it prompted me to pick up my camera. Even better, it helped me redevelop a lost reflex to reach for the camera and play. Just play.

I illustrated my posts here with images.

I googled a bit and found sites with tips for using point and shoot cameras (see here and here) and photography quotes accompanied by great landscapes (here).

I searched the house far and wide for my user manual to see how I could play with my manual settings. Unfortunately that's as far as I got 'cause I couldn't find it. (I was sure I saw it after the move.) But I was ready to play - and learn!

I reflected on photos, how they impact us and why we take them. I reflected on photography and how it's changed in the digital age from film, and even more from the age of Ansel Adams who lugged a limited number of plates up mountains to take pictures. I thought about how disposable it's become and is that a pro, a con, or either depending on the context?

All in all it was a fun experiment; I hope you enjoyed it too. And who knows, it may even seep into June if I can find that user manual. In the meantime I leave you with a few snapshots of the intoxicating peonies that grace my home these days. Till the next experiment...

happiness in a bloom

grace in a jam jar

pink explosion

center in focus

ruffles

A Journey of Artistic Discovery

experimenting with tar gel

I am swimming in artistic inspiration, playing with colour, tools and style. I am thirsty for knowledge, reading, learning, discovering the work of artists who came before me - of artists who are there now. I am enamoured with creative possibility.

I tell myself that it's an unnecessary indulgence, struggling with feelings of selfishness and arrogance: "Who am I to think I can paint anything interesting or worthwhile?" I tell myself I should hold back. But luckily an even louder voice tells me to just forge ahead and see where it goes.

So will I forge and play without expectation. I will study and show up and see what comes, feeding my curiosity and enjoying the journey as it unfolds.

An Enhanced Art Viewing Experience

North Shore, Lake Superior (Lawren Harris)

I sat on the lone black leather bench positioned in the middle of the room and took it all in: straight ahead through a doorway, on the far wall of an adjacent gallery, Emily Carr's The Welcome Man and Fir Tree and Sky; to my left, Tom Thomson's Pine Island; to my right, Lawren Harris' iconic North Shore Lake Superior (above). It was all so beautiful I suddenly wanted to cry, tears welling quickly and unexpectedly.

I'd seen these pieces before, but never did they trigger such intense emotion. I blame three things:

• a spontaneous library find called Great Canadian Painting - A Century of Art (published in 1966) through which I'm learning more about Canadian artists with whom I'm already familiar and discovering artists I never even knew existed,
  
• Emily Carr's Hundreds and Thousands: The Journals of an Artist, and
  
• my taking up painting.
  

With just the little bit of knowledge gained through the first book and the glimpse into Ms Carr's interior landscape through the second, I felt a more intimate connection to the work in front of me.

I imagined Tom Thomson painting in full woodsman garb and a canoe; wondered if Emily Carr was dealing with turmoil the day she painted those two pieces or if she felt peaceful and content. I was drawn by an inexplicable spiritual quality coming through in Lawren Harris' piece that Ms Carr so admired in his work.

I also looked at colour, composition and brush strokes with a new perspective. I leaned in close and studied the paintings at different angles to observe textures and layers, taking mental notes to emulate some of it back in my studio, anxious to learn even more through practice.

Frankly it all took me by surprise. I had no idea that satisfying an artistic curiosity would have such an effect.

The moral of this story you ask? Learning about art - and artists - has the potential to enhance one's art viewing experience tenfold, adding depth and intimacy where before there was merely interest and admiration. I believe it; today's experience was my personal proof in the pudding.

On Blogging, Fear and Authenticity

I don't know what to write tonight, but I'm toying with the idea of participating (unofficially of course) in NaBloPoMo so I'm sitting here typing with the hopes that something semi-intelligent will make its way through the keyboard to the screen for Day 1 just in case.

Truth is, I've lost confidence in my ability to write here. It's not for a lack of ideas, I have a notebook full of scribbles and sometimes my mind is moving so fast I can hardly keep up with it.

It's about fear. Fear of what others will think of me, fear that whatever I write has already been said, fear of being boring. Fear that communities I've found or connections I've made through specific parts of my life won't like reading about what's going on in other parts and reject me.

These fears can lead to writing that is safe and stays at the surface. That's not necessarily what I want. I like to explore and be true and sometimes that means taking risks. So although they may shift, just for today - or maybe this month - I will remind myself of the goals I laid out for my Creative Living Experiment back in May:

1. to observe life in and around me,
2. to write regularly,
3. to document my experiment in creating a life I want - whatever fields of interest that may include, and
4. to expand my mind and life experience by learning more about my interests and sharing what I’ve learned with others.

I see nothing about self-imposed peer pressure, safety or perfection. What I do see is opportunity to learn, reflect, practice and share an honest, authentic version of myself that includes all parts of me.

Surely that should be enough to get me through Day 2.

I ♥ My Library

October is Canadian Library Month. Being a self-confessed library nerd I thought I'd honour the event by putting in an eleventh hour plug for this amazing FREE service.

I use the library a LOT and probably visit it once a week to pick up, browse or return items. I use it mostly for books and DVDs, but those are really just the tip of the iceberg. The Ottawa Public Library offers family passes to the National Gallery of Canada and the Canadian Museum of Contemporary Photography, the Museum of Nature, Science & Tech, Civilization... all on loan for a week during which I can use the pass every day. I can even borrow a "Kill-a-Watt" meter to measure power consumption in my home or a pedometer to count my steps to health.

The library also hosts or provides meeting space for stuff like writing groups, the local Jane Austen Society chapter, homework clubs, conversation and friendship circles. And let us not forget the wide-ranging reference and information services for which libraries are known in the first place.

A bonus tidbit for the locals: Did you know that Ottawa still has an original Carnegie Library standing? According to Wikipedia, the Rosemount Branch opened its doors in 1919 and was the last Carnegie grant given in Canada. Lucky us!

In case you haven't noticed, I ♥ my library. I really do. If you haven't visited your local library yet I encourage you to do so either in person, or if it's available, online. You might learn to ♥ it too.

Creative Surrender

cosmic
(a result of creative surrender)

"The discipline of creation is a mix of surrender and initiative. We let go of inhibitions, which breed rigidity, and we cultivate responsiveness to what is taking shape in the immediate situation. The creative person, like the energy of creation, is always moving. There is an understanding that the process must keep changing."

- Shaun McNiff, Trust the Process - An Artist's Guide to Letting Go

Pushing Through to the Unexpected

a work in progress

I created this work in progress a few weeks after Squam, in October 2008. It's been on my shelf unfinished ever since. I liked what I had, was nervous about losing it and didn't know what to do next.

Last night I decided to bring it to my abstract painting class to see if I could glean any insights from my teacher. She was confident I could go somewhere with it, but instead of giving me specific insights she gently reminded me that I can't let a piece become too precious, that although it's not always easy, if I feel a piece isn't finished I should push forward despite my fears of ruining what's already there. In other words, trust in the process.

I knew that. I'd done it before. I even made it my mantra last year.

Inspired by my teacher's gentle reminder and the seven other women in the room pushing through their own fears, I allowed myself to play with my post-Squam painting and transformed it into something I never could have planned or imagined:

a work completed?

I love how this class is pushing my boundaries.

Photography Month on TV Ontario

For those who get TV Ontario (one of the few channels we get with the rabbit ears), May is TVO Photography Month. In conjunction with the CONTACT Toronto Photography Festival during the next four weeks, TVO will air documentaries (I counted 18 on the schedule) related to photographers or photography.

Last night kicked it off with Annie Leibovitz: Life Through a Lens. I caught the last hour and was amazed at this woman's creative process and determination. Tonight continues with Fixing the Shadows, the first in a series called Genius of Photography.

If you don't have TVO, the schedule offers good descriptions of each documentary - maybe enough to see if it's worth a trip to the library or the price of a rental.

Happy viewing!

New Digs, New Focus

Welcome to my new space - #22 on my list!

This site has been percolating in my mind and soul since January 2007. I played with names (Renaissance Rambles, Simple Living Experiment, Authentic Living Experiment), but the Universe has a way of working its magic and the past six months have led me to embark on a Creative Living Experiment as in creating-the-life-I-want, a life true to me.

There will be tweaking and playing with the layout in weeks to come, adding my blogroll and other tidbits. Content will be similar to that of my Urban Living Experiment with maybe an added focus on my journey in creating meaningful work, writing and the visual arts.

Being the renaissance soul that I am (a poetic way of saying that I’m focus-challenged) I suspect you’ll also find pieces about simple and frugal living, nature, books, financial independence and productivity. Add to that the odd pondering, grateful, wedding update, photo recap, movie review, local event, hiking or outdoor expedition, Life’s Big Questions (LBQs) and whatever tickles my fancy, and you’ll have well-rounded entertainment at your fingertips!

My original blogging goals of observing life in and around me, writing regularly and documenting my experiment remain.

I’ve added a fourth goal to use Creative Living Experiment as a vehicle to learn more about my interests and share what I’ve learned with others – a partially selfish goal with the hopes that it will prod me to expand my mind and life experience. I encourage you to take what you like and leave the rest.

Creative Living Experiment is a continued journey, a switch in focus from healing past hurts to creating new love and life. It’s a sequel to my Urban Living Experiment and the few years that came before it. I look forward to seeing where it leads me.

Thank you for being here. I do hope you’ll join me and see where it may lead you.

Love & hugs,

Steph

xox